i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
