Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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