Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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