Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
