The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
