its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
