i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
