this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
