plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
