Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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