We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
