Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
