Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
