i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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