she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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