just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
