i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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