I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
