You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
