Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
