Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
