So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
