the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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