North Korea, Best Korea!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
