His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
