Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
