If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
