I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
