So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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