i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
