There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
