well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
