Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
do nipples grow back?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
