Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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