ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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