Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
