Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
