I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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