smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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