bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
