the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think my fart just growled at me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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