hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
ttyl tear gas
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
