Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
