I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
