I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
