bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
