Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
