in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
