I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
