Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
