Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
