It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
