Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
