i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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