so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
