you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
