True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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