Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
