And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
