yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
