if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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