Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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