I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
